Don't Want To Be Left Behind

In some days, like today, I have to go to work and leave you.  I'm more at ease when I leave you at home with your Papa.  However, during this weekend duty, we both decided to leave you at your GrandMommy's house.

I always let you know if I'm going away because that is more okay with you than leaving you without you knowing it.  That's how mature you have become even when you were two years old (now you are three).  

However, it wasn't so easy saying goodbye to you.  I guess you were feeling separation anxiety.  When we left the apartment, you were already clinging to me.  I think I failed making you understand that you were coming with me to your Grandmommy's house and leave you there.

Even in the car, as your uncle Genesis had said, you were looking for me when I didn't go in the backseat, yet, to attend to our things.  

Anak, I will never leave you.  And as your Papa has promised, he will never leave us even after he's dead (I don't know how he's going to pull that off, though).  

Even though there's distance between us, our thoughts and prayers are always of and for you.  We always pray that you are safe and that you can take good care of yourself, that you would be smart enough to decide what is right and be physically able to pull it through.  

Well, got to go.  Mommy has to go back to work, you know.  Muah!

Off To School

We have just dropped you off to school and I’m here at your favourite cupcake shop in the neighbourhood.  I’m waiting for your Grandma to pick me up and send me to the eye doctor today for my ophthalmologic problems.  

We are both supposed to be studying right now. I wish I could see you right now in school and know how you are around other kids.  But I wouldn’t be able to do that.  I guess parents won’t be able to unless the parent is a teacher in the same school as her child studies.  I guess I’m going to miss that part of your life.  Well, in almost everyone’s case, our parents missed those days too.  

By the way, you came in with one of your classmates and in comparison to them, it seemed that you are so little.  I wonder if you are of the same age.  If you were, I’d be troubled.  They really seem bigger than you are and more able.  

And one more thing, I’m a bit pressured by your studies.  The things that they are teaching you in class are, in my opinion, still too much for your age.  And most of the time you don’t feel like studying.  How can you make you learn? 

Family Picture

My dear Via, I just crossed out one thing from your momma's wish list - to have a family pictorial.  I was able to catch a promo from an online coupon which allowed us to have a one-hour photoshoot in Megamall branch of Nice Print.  

Papa and I had fun.  I don't think you did, though.  You were really shy with the camera lady.  She was so nice and patient with us - being amateur and all.  Most especially, when you were not in the mood to smile.  None of the photos had you with a smile on your face.  I guess, you don't want strangers to see how nice your smile is.  

You'll see how it went because we are planning to hang those pictures on the wall and post it online for everyone to see how miserable you were that day.  However, they should also know that you were kind of happy after that photoshoot. You were giving Papa a hard time as usual.   

Terrific or Terrorist Three?

Terrible two is over.  You just turned three.  

You actually celebrated it a couple of times. The first one was a surprise.  The second one was planned. 

Your lola mommy wanted to celebrate your third year and conjured up a family kiddie party in the townhouse in which no one resides.  With the help of your uncle Genesis, they turned the deserted house into something festive.  You even had balloons with your name written on them.  

The second party was by yours truly and your papa's efforts.  We had some Happy Meals delivered to our humble home for the the kids in our apartment compound.  I think it was pretty good.  Your Tita Bea (your father's cousin) helped a lot with the preparation.  

You should thank them (lola mommy, uncle Genesis and tita Bea) once you are able to.  Do not forget.  Your parties were a success.  I think they were better than your 1st grand birthday party and 2nd birthday McDonald's party combined.  

This goes to show that when you are celebrating, the people who are close to you should be invited.  Never mind the other people.  They won't mind if they're not invited.  

As I have said, Terrible Two is now over and I'm looking forward to this coming year whether you'll turn better or worse.  Your papa and I are hoping for the former than the latter.   

Be Brave.

Be Brave.  Even if you're not, pretend to be.  No one can tell the difference.

 - -  Jackson Brown Jr.

It's all about a leap of faith.  There's so many things in life that you wouldn't know about if you don't try it for yourself. Well, you may read on it too.  But unless you try out a theory then you would know for sure.  I didn't name you "Via Faith" for nothing.  You were supposed to live your life through great faith in the Lord, in others and also in yourself.  Believing that you can makes a whole lot of difference from believing that you cannot.  Choose carefully which ones you should believe in.  Pray with me that you will have enough good judgement to know the difference. 

I want you to experience all the adventures that you can muster in your lifetime.  I want your life to be as exciting as possible without verging on the danger zone.  Get a little crazy.  I said "crazy".  I didn't say "stupid".  A lot of people confuses those two.  Be careful not to do the same!  I'd go berserk if you suddenly join Jackass (Well, in time you need to use a search engine what I'm talking about.  By the time you read this, Jackass might be called by another worthy term).  Via, don't make me and papa worry too much about you.  Please know how to take care of yourself. 

Be brave enough to look out for others besides yourself.  Self-sacrifice is underrated.  But somehow, doing things for others would open doors for you.  Think about a self-serving self-sacrifice.  It's devilish but everyone is happy about it.

Be brave to accept responsibilities.  To be honest Anak, I was kind of scared when I had you.  I was excited.  But then when I started to think about your future needs, I was so afraid that I won't be able to provide them and that made us stay with your grandparents for almost three years since you were born.  You'll encounter the same kind of responsibilities in your career and your family and social life.  Do not be afraid because God provides.  I truly believe that.  Everyday has been a miracle.  We are surviving without your grandparents' help.

Be brave to say "no" to things that might harm you. You would learn eventually which ones are hurtful and which ones do not.  You'll go through high school when your main priority is to become accepted.  And in order to be accepted, you do what others are doing. Don't be scared to stand out.  Be your own person.   DO NOT GET HURT as well as DO NOT BE HURTFUL.  You will badly want to belong and be accepted by your peers.  But think twice before you do what they would like you and are expecting for you to do.  Everything we do leaves a mark.  Be brave to do things that may be unacceptable to them but are definitely the right thing.    

When it comes to Mommy and Papa, you won't need to pretend to be brave.  I ask you to tell me if you're scared.  Papa and I will protect you as much as we can.  Papa does that already - all the time.  He will be doing that throughout his life.  Papa does the "being brave" for the three of us.  I try my best to do the same.  When it comes to us, no need to put up a facade.

Be brave.  You will survive.       

Bend But Don't Break

It's around 6am and your father is getting ready for work on the day that typhoon Haiyan is going to hit Manila.  I'm worried about your Papa because he might encounter heavy rains on his way home later.  We both know that he needs to go and work for an hour or so in order to have some cash.  That is our life anak.  If we don't go to work, we don't get paid.

Every time there is a storm, I remember that Filipino poem about the Philippine bamboo.  I don't think you have seen one before.  There are lots in the streets where your grandfather (my father) grew up (that's in Lingayen). They are really tall trees that is almost all green. They sway with the wind - trunks and all.  They're the most flexible trees I've seen so far.

Your Papa said it was best to plant Bamboos in places which are high risk for landslides because their roots encompasses a big area.  I don't know how true but he knows more about trees than I do so I believe him.  According to him, the roots can hold a significant amount of soil.

Anyway, back to that poem.  Well, the bamboo tree was speaking to God.  And it was kind of boasting to God (but not really) that it can withstand whatever test God throws its way.  It will just bend but not break.  "Break me Oh Lord. Break me if You can".  It will keep it's faith on the Lord in the face of challenges life brings it.

I want you to grow as strong as the Bamboo tree.  Live your name.  Live through great faith in the Lord.  Bend but don't break.  Be strong and try to endure.  People and circumstances may bring you to your knees but don't forget to get back up.  Don't let anything keep you down.

Your mom is not as strong though.  But I survived because of you and your father.  We are trying to build your roots.  We want it to be strong and resilient so that in time that we're not around, you'll be able to hold your ground.    

Say Yes Sometimes

It seems that your favourite word is "No".

Whenever we ask you to do or offer you something, you don't even bother to look up and you just say no.  We find it funny that you even close your eyes tightly and turn away your head to emphasize that you really don't like.

Well, you have to try the things that we give you or ask of you before you say "no" because we won't give anything that would hurt you.  They may not look or sound or taste good but those are the things that we feel are best for you.

I read before that parents need to give children an option that they can practice making choices.  However, it is a luxury these days to have other good options.  Maybe someday, we would be able to give you other choices that are more inviting than what we can offer.  For now, you have to try to say yes because we only give what's good for you.

Backtrack a little, the time you were born, everyone noted the two swirls of hair on top of your head. Everyone was thinking, (forgive me, but I was included) that you are destined to be a stubborn child.  But mommy is more stubborn than you are and I refuse to believe that I cannot do something about it.  With your father's help, we're going to make you more flexible and open to things that you'd rather not have anything to do with.

"Yes" is a much better word, child.

Biking Makes You Happy

Despite the fact that we don't have that much money this year, we were able to buy you a tricycle before you turned three.  According to books, being able to ride the bike is a milestone for a three-year old.  I guess I'm making sure that you are able to reach that milestone easily.  Papa just wanted to make you happy.

You're downstairs, outside right now with nanny Vangie.  She's pushing your bike for you since your legs don't have the strength to pedal it yourself.  I guess even when your playmates are not around, this makes up for it.

By the way, we were supposed to go to the park today. However, mommy and papa overslept in their afternoon naps.  Papa is still in bed at this time.  And I'm up and decided to finish on my presentation for work since we won't be going to the park for you to use the slide and me to do tennis drills on the park tennis court.  What a letdown!  But we both know Papa needs his sleep too.