My five-year old daughter frequently says "no" with a "thank you".
It wasn't intentional but I think I taught her that by example.
She can be so polite at times even with the little things.
However, there are times when I don't want to hear those words especially during exam week.
Me: "Are you ready to study?"
Via: "No, thank you mommy." (Without even looking up)
If you must know anak, I'm not offering you anything. I'm actually ordering you to get ready for crunch time.
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Friday, December 18, 2015
Kids and iPads
My daughter is a fan of You Tube for years now. I don't really know how much she spends in front of the iPad since I spend all day at work. When I get home, I muster up all the energy that remains to play with her and her toys. We try to read books instead. She goes straight to bed after that. She's hands off the iPad when I'm around.
Her iPad is a substitute for a playmate. She's an only child and she stays inside the house most of the time (Thank God). iPad is her window to the world. However, there are so many things in You Tube that are not appropriate for her age. For example, Katy Perry. Her songs are great but her videos are of course, on a different level of understanding. Even those Lego videos are a bit dark for my taste and so, I tell her to stop watching those.
I put on the filter in the You Tube account that she's using. And now, she can only watch toy videos which is also bad enough because all she can think of is having them all.
I tried downloading the educational apps but she's not even using them. I paid for Homer which we use to help her read before she even started reading. There are some good and bad outcomes in using the computer (iPad in my case). However, we need to use it with them. We are still parents and there's no substitute for that.
Her iPad is a substitute for a playmate. She's an only child and she stays inside the house most of the time (Thank God). iPad is her window to the world. However, there are so many things in You Tube that are not appropriate for her age. For example, Katy Perry. Her songs are great but her videos are of course, on a different level of understanding. Even those Lego videos are a bit dark for my taste and so, I tell her to stop watching those.
I put on the filter in the You Tube account that she's using. And now, she can only watch toy videos which is also bad enough because all she can think of is having them all.
I tried downloading the educational apps but she's not even using them. I paid for Homer which we use to help her read before she even started reading. There are some good and bad outcomes in using the computer (iPad in my case). However, we need to use it with them. We are still parents and there's no substitute for that.
Friday, September 25, 2015
Know The Value of Money
There is nothing more bothersome than someone spending money they don't have.
Our family has been so blessed financially. We are so used to spending so much. We get an item or several of them in a store and go pay for it in the cashier without even bothering how much was in the price tag or even checking the total of the receipt.
That is how your family (from your mother's side) lives.
I (your mom) is bothered by it. I shouldn't be. Your grandparents can spend however they want to spend their money. I have no claim on it. However, I always think that we should save some for later (especially when the time comes when they actually need it).
Money can run out. And I don't want it gone before them. I want them to enjoy having it until the end.
Your grandma's philosophy is spend for yourself as much as you can as long as their is supply. If it runs out, then there's nothing else you can do but NOT spend any. For me that's a dangerous thing. However, I trust my parents know what they are doing. They are actually in the money business and they know the value of every cent they earn. They worked hard - really hard, for it so it means that money is really valuable.
Money has no value to the rich. They can spend it without thinking.
Despite what you see how they spend it on themselves, including you (my daughter), they know the value of money. They know that a certain small amount is valuable to hungry mouths and the homeless people. But they also know the value of happiness and comfort. They can spend it all to their heart's content. It's their money anyways.
We are not rich. We know its value. Even though we are showered by your grandparents, please learn the value of money. We should work hard for it to know all about it.
I don't want you to experience a moment in your life wanting something that we cannot afford. But here me, that experience is very valuable.
I have already experienced that. Your father and I have but we try our very best that you won't ever have to experience it. But it is necessary.
Do not live in disappointment. Please do not get scornful of the people who cannot give you what you want, and (God forbid) what you may need.
Let's work for it but let's not live for it. Live for something else more valuable.
For your father and me, we both work and live for you. We want to be there for you.
Please remember that the value of money is nothing compared to you. People are more valuable than money itself. Life is more valuable than money itself. Your good values is more valuable than money itself.
We value you more than anything else.
Our family has been so blessed financially. We are so used to spending so much. We get an item or several of them in a store and go pay for it in the cashier without even bothering how much was in the price tag or even checking the total of the receipt.
That is how your family (from your mother's side) lives.
I (your mom) is bothered by it. I shouldn't be. Your grandparents can spend however they want to spend their money. I have no claim on it. However, I always think that we should save some for later (especially when the time comes when they actually need it).
Money can run out. And I don't want it gone before them. I want them to enjoy having it until the end.
Your grandma's philosophy is spend for yourself as much as you can as long as their is supply. If it runs out, then there's nothing else you can do but NOT spend any. For me that's a dangerous thing. However, I trust my parents know what they are doing. They are actually in the money business and they know the value of every cent they earn. They worked hard - really hard, for it so it means that money is really valuable.
Money has no value to the rich. They can spend it without thinking.
Despite what you see how they spend it on themselves, including you (my daughter), they know the value of money. They know that a certain small amount is valuable to hungry mouths and the homeless people. But they also know the value of happiness and comfort. They can spend it all to their heart's content. It's their money anyways.
We are not rich. We know its value. Even though we are showered by your grandparents, please learn the value of money. We should work hard for it to know all about it.
I don't want you to experience a moment in your life wanting something that we cannot afford. But here me, that experience is very valuable.
I have already experienced that. Your father and I have but we try our very best that you won't ever have to experience it. But it is necessary.
Do not live in disappointment. Please do not get scornful of the people who cannot give you what you want, and (God forbid) what you may need.
Let's work for it but let's not live for it. Live for something else more valuable.
For your father and me, we both work and live for you. We want to be there for you.
Please remember that the value of money is nothing compared to you. People are more valuable than money itself. Life is more valuable than money itself. Your good values is more valuable than money itself.
We value you more than anything else.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Future You
I'm actually thinking of things that you can do so that your efforts in the future will not go to waste.
I don't want you to be a doctor because it is time-consuming. You'll just waste your youth on academic books. That is not the way to live.
I want you to have more time for yourself unlike me or your lola mommy.
But no regrets. I hope lola mommy also don't have any.
So I wanted you to aim for a desk job. Yes. A desk job. It's not demeaning, don't worry. But if you want to try another, it's fine with me. As long as you're happy with it, then that would be great.
However, on your way up, I want to harness the following in you besides the intelligence quotient (IQ):
Body Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence
Moral Intelligence
And can I add, Musical Intelligence
I'm going to make it work for you. I want you to concentrate on these things. At this age, it may seem that I'm just concerned with your academics. But honestly, as long as you know how to read with ease, understand the words that you're reading and writing legibly (unlike your mommy), then I'm happy and will be more relaxed.
You will do good, Anak.
I'm not after excellence. I'm after your survival and happiness.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Your Lola Mommy
You (and your cousin, Gab) are so very special to your Lola Mommy. Did you know that at this time that she is battling with cancer and the complications that followed (or should I say piled up), you are her source of strength and most importantly, calm? She loves you both very much.
She couldn't get it from herself but she finds it in you - the strength to go on and the calm of acceptance.
She always wants you to be around. She even goes to the extent of bribing you with toys to make you stay in her place longer. And of course, you appreciate it. But at this young age, you only appreciate the colourful gifts but not yet the one who gave them to you.
She thinks of your future like it was her own. She is planning your life already like how she did to me. It is both good and bad. It is good because the future she wants to push for you is a "perfect" one. It is also bad because if ever she builds it in her head and heart, it would be hard for her to accept that you will make your own plans someday (which I will allow). She dreams for both of you. More intensely than your very own parents. I guess there will be a greater chance of disappointing her than us.
In the future, I hope that you can say to her how grateful you are for watching over you, for thinking of you, for spending time with you. And I hope that you will find within yourself all that she finds and aspires in you. She sees only the good in you. That's how much she loves and adores you.
She couldn't get it from herself but she finds it in you - the strength to go on and the calm of acceptance.
She always wants you to be around. She even goes to the extent of bribing you with toys to make you stay in her place longer. And of course, you appreciate it. But at this young age, you only appreciate the colourful gifts but not yet the one who gave them to you.
She thinks of your future like it was her own. She is planning your life already like how she did to me. It is both good and bad. It is good because the future she wants to push for you is a "perfect" one. It is also bad because if ever she builds it in her head and heart, it would be hard for her to accept that you will make your own plans someday (which I will allow). She dreams for both of you. More intensely than your very own parents. I guess there will be a greater chance of disappointing her than us.
In the future, I hope that you can say to her how grateful you are for watching over you, for thinking of you, for spending time with you. And I hope that you will find within yourself all that she finds and aspires in you. She sees only the good in you. That's how much she loves and adores you.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Swim Day
This is the second time I've missed seeing your swimming skills. Everyone has been saying that you were so great in the water making me regret that I went to work today! Your uncle Genesis told me that you were moving around the pool on your own. Your Tito Edel was saying that you were doing Butterfly strokes.
At the age of three, you are not afraid of the unknown - practically all the worst case scenario I'm worried about all the time. I'm so happy just to know that you enjoyed every minute of it. Even though I wasn't there, it doesn't matter that I wasn't missed.
You don't realise it but my presence was important to me. I want to be around. As I think about it now, it really doesn't matter if I was around this morning while you were having fun. It is more important that I'm around during your bad times instead. That's what I ask of you. Let me be around during those times, call me and your father. We will be there for you. Try to get our attention. Do it again and again until we turn to look at you and listen to what you have to say.
There'll be other swim days and I hope that I won't miss it next time. But if I do, please tell me all about it - every minute that I was not around.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Must Read
I grabbed this copy and hope to have it printed out. I found it in the net and I was hoping that I could remember everything by heart. Unfortunately, I don't have a retentive memory. So here, I am posting it for you to read.
“Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference. Don’t allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It’s there for your convenience, not the callers. Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is. Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river. Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated. Don’t major in minor things. Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Helen Keller, Leonardo Da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein. Don’t spread yourself too thin. Learn to say no politely and quickly. Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Don’t waste time grieving over past mistakes Learn from them and move on. Every person needs to have their moment in the sun, when they raise their arms in victory, knowing that on this day, at his hour, they were at their very best. Get your priorities straight. No one ever said on his death bed, ‘Gee, if I’d only spent more time at the office’. Give people a second chance, but not a third. Judge your success by the degree that you’re enjoying peace, health and love. Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly. Leave everything a little better than you found it. Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life and death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems. Never cut what can be untied. Never overestimate your power to change others. Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Remember that overnight success usually takes about fifteen years. Remember that winners do what losers don’t want to do. Seek opportunity, not security. A boat in harbor is safe, but in time its bottom will rot out. Spend less time worrying who’s right, more time deciding what’s right. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life. Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get. The importance of winning is not what we get from it, but what we become because of it. When facing a difficult task, act as though it’s impossible to fail.”
— Jackson Brown Jr
“Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference. Don’t allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It’s there for your convenience, not the callers. Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is. Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river. Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated. Don’t major in minor things. Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Helen Keller, Leonardo Da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein. Don’t spread yourself too thin. Learn to say no politely and quickly. Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Don’t waste time grieving over past mistakes Learn from them and move on. Every person needs to have their moment in the sun, when they raise their arms in victory, knowing that on this day, at his hour, they were at their very best. Get your priorities straight. No one ever said on his death bed, ‘Gee, if I’d only spent more time at the office’. Give people a second chance, but not a third. Judge your success by the degree that you’re enjoying peace, health and love. Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly. Leave everything a little better than you found it. Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life and death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems. Never cut what can be untied. Never overestimate your power to change others. Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Remember that overnight success usually takes about fifteen years. Remember that winners do what losers don’t want to do. Seek opportunity, not security. A boat in harbor is safe, but in time its bottom will rot out. Spend less time worrying who’s right, more time deciding what’s right. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life. Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get. The importance of winning is not what we get from it, but what we become because of it. When facing a difficult task, act as though it’s impossible to fail.”
— Jackson Brown Jr
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