Pack Away!

You have got to learn how to pack away, anak.  Don't leave your mess behind and relying on others to do it for you.  You said so yourself when Papa asked you to pack away, "Yaya's there!" We can't help but be amused at what you had just said but it won't be for very long.  Doing it yourself is more amusing.  

You have to clean up your mess.  

I've heard from somewhere that when you leave a place (or a human being), make sure you leave it in a state better than it was before.  Do not leave a place (or a person) after you have just caused some kind of damage or worse, destruction.  Be able to pick up the pieces even if it's not for your own direct good.  Indirectly, you would feel much better - no regrets.  

Choose To Be Happy

There are times that you suddenly decide to be grumpy at anyone.  And when I ask you why, you get grumpier.  You make this sound between a "Hmp!" and a growl.  Yes, anak, you growl since the age of two (turning three).  Your papa and I laugh and I wonder silently if I'm raising you right.

When I offer you some form of bribe just so you would stop being grumpy, you seem to get grumpier too.  It's like a losing battle for me.  You are so incoherent when you're mad.  Mommy cannot seem to understand a thing you are saying.  It's like your whining and huffing and puffing and growling.

But then I found a way through that grumpiness.  Every time you huff and you puff (like the wolf in Three Little Pigs tale), I make that funny face and gestures (well, I think they're funny) to make you see that your anger affects mommy.  Bribing never works for you.  I have to get weird in order to make you smile.  You really are a handful.

Your papa does something else.  When you get mad, he gets annoyed.  And he gets mad.  He pretends that he doesn't want to talk to you (because you say so yourself - You don't want to talk to him).  Now that's a battle you have been losing because once papa decides he doesn't want to talk to you, that's when you try to convince him that he wants to talk to you.  I hear you say to him, "Sorry papa" at the age of 2 (turning three).  And it's so cute.

On a side note: this morning when we were on our way out of the house (because I'm dropping you off at your grandma's house), you said out loud "I love you mama".  Thank you anak.  "I love you too!"

Well, I hope that you will grow less and less grumpy.  When you make your own decisions, decide on being happy.

Your own happiness is up to you.  Be happy with yourself.  Do not rely on anyone (even momma and papa) to make you happy.  We cannot do that for you.  We always try but in reality anak, it has been always up to you.

I truly hope that when you grow older, you'll grow wiser and more content than ever.  I don't want you to be like those people I have encountered who wallow in their losses or sadness or misfortune.  GET PAST THEM.  Don't stay in that point on your life when you have been deceived, when you have failed. You are still one of the human race.  Failure is part of being human. Losing something or somebody is part of being human.  And moving on may be the hardest thing for you but since are human, you are equipped to do so.

Your papa and I are raising you not with the luxuries money (which we don't have) can buy, but with the necessities that will able you to grow as normal and as tough as can be.   I don't want you to be tough at all times, but be tough if you have to.  You can run to me, your papa or God at the end of the day.   Our loving arms are always waiting for you.

Be happy.  That is all.

So This Is Christmas

We have just spent our Christmas together - you, me and Papa - without the need for explanation and excuses.

It was very simple and not so quiet.  We had ChocoMucho to give away to the kids who knocked on our door Christmas morning.  And you learned how to give them yourself by counting heads first and then counting how many bars of chocolate that you ought to hand out.  It was the highlight of the day.  It went on until noon time.  Probably, the sun was too hot for the kids to walk around the neighbourhood.

You were wondering about Yaya and were asking if you could go to Kuya Gabino's place.  I told you that Yaya was in her mommy and daddy's house.  And as for Kuya Gabino, I told you that he was in Tagaytay with your Lolo and Lola at their rest house.  Beforehand, you said you didn't want to go to Tagaytay so the conversation ended there.

We had pork roast by your papa and I tried making mini pizzas.  You liked them but I refused to give them to you as much as you wanted because I burned their bottoms.  So Papa cooked the next batch.  However, by that time, you preferred eating his marinated and fried bangus belly - your favourite.

I know Christmas should be about Christ our Lord.  I just mentioned it to you once but I don't think you know him yet.  For myself, I know about Him (but I don't really know Him) but I have given your happiness the utmost importance this Christmas.   Remind me to work on this.

For me, Christmas is about your happiness and family.  Finally, we had one.

Right at this moment, I'm waiting for you to wake up.  Your breakfast is ready.  Papa prepared it before he left for work.  I'm browsing our videos in You Tube and trying to put proper titles on them. Most of them are about you.

I love you.  We had just a great Christmas.

Have A Just Cause

Your momma believes that she is doing all this for you.  

You are her just cause.

You deserve a family.

You deserve good memories. 

Before I had you, I didn’t have any just cause, only selfish ones.  It was all about me.  When I go rebel against your grandparents, it’s all about what I want.  But when you came along, I was tamed.  I swallowed my pride once too often.  And somehow, I understood what they went through when they were trying to raise me.  

I appreciated my parents more and more when I had you.  

They did everything for us.  And I’m going to do the same, even if it means that I have to defy them and putting them second best.  

When you grow older and understand all these, I will understand that you have to do things you have to do.  But until I see that you have a just cause, I will be breathing down your neck.  Just kidding!  

For now, I will raise you in a way that you may be able to decide which is just and and which is not.  You have to have a purpose so everything will be easy for you when it is actually taking all your time and energy.  

At the end of the day, your papa and me are waiting for you so that you may take your rest to move on the next day. 

Take What Is Yours

And leave what is not yours.

I’d rather be positive this season however, I just want to cite an incident that happened to me one morning while I was getting ready for work.  You were asleep at that time and too young to understand what was happening.

We don’t have a car.  And so I usually take a motorbike ride with your father (FOR WHICH WE DON’T WANT YOU TO DO).  There was one morning when your Papa has to go extra early so I decided to ride the tricycle.  So your Nanny went out to get one for me and came back with one.  I was about to go down on the ground floor (we are living on the 2nd floor) and out the gate, when this neighbour rode the tricycle herself, knowing fully well that it was my ride.

It still makes me mad whenever I recall that incident.  Don’t take after me.  I hold grudges.  Be like your father or your grandfather.  They easily let go of other people’s trespasses (They don’t know it but they have something in common).

Remember Anak, we should take care of many things in our life and one of them is our relationship with our “neighbours” (and that includes everyone). Be respectful.  Do not take what is not yours.  Share if you have extra.  Do not share if it will compromise your needs.  Be aggressive if you need to but don’t trample on others (like what THAT neighbour did).

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING, TAKE IT BY THE RULES THEN IT WILL TRULY BE YOURS.

Anak, it’s hard to achieve something in life because you have to work for everything.  DO NOT TIRE EASILY.  JUST KEEP GOING.  And if you think there are no results, think again.  There are little things that get by without you noticing them but they are still results.




Anyway, since it IS still Christmas so let’s get back at it.

I’m planning to pick you up from your Kuya Gab’s and Lola’s place.  Papa’s not yet around.  He left really early because he wanted to play tennis with people I-don’t-know-who.  So I have time for myself to write to you.

It’s 8am already but the skies looks like it just got around 6am.  It is really Christmas.  Weather is gloomy as expected.

I’m thinking that you might have mosquito bites by now since you have stayed there for three straight nights.  I miss you.

So yesterday, we were in the mall and the supermarket to buy stuff for Christmas eve dinner.  We prepared something simple and just good for three people - two big ones and one small one.   Papa will do everything to make your dinner tasty while momma will try to make it look festive.

I can’t wait to see you again.  Papa is still not around and I’m getting impatient.

Via's Mad

I’ve been wondering why you easily get mad at momma.  And it just came up to me that the reason might be because I’m not around that often.

There are times when I don’t know how to handle you.  Sometimes, when I don’t know how, I just give in and give what you want.

I don’t want to pressure you with your studies and that’s why I’m going to make you for only an hour each day.  Thirty minutes in the morning and thirty minutes at night.  I can do that because I don’t need to go to work this Christmas time.  Besides that one hour, I promise to put down this laptop and even the phones and iPad and play with your dollhouse.

I asked your papa last night that there’s a big chance you are going to eat me alive someday.   Don’t get worried, my baby.  I won’t let you.

I will do my utmost to make you behave how a lady and a good daughter should behave.  There are times that even papa is scared of me when I get mad at you.  Forgive me when I do get mad at you.  The tone of my voice is my weapon.  And that makes you stop what you’re doing and makes you retaliate.  Problem is it gets worse when you retaliate, you intentionally keep doing what I specifically told you what not to do.  I better work on that.