Why hide from Momma?
God has not given you to me just so I could make judgements on you.
I feel the need to take care of you. So please forgive mommy if sometimes, I get carried away and smother you. I didn't mean to.
At the age of three, you already have the tendency to hide "them" from me. "Them" meaning all the things that hurt you.
Via, I'm here so that you can talk to someone. I'll always be here to listen and try not to make judgement. I'll restrain myself from making my usual hysterics and outburst.
I know myself and I know that I can overreact more often than not. And when it comes to you, I overreact more intensely than others can. Forgive me, but it's because you are my child - I don't care how old you get.
But I'm promising myself not to be my usual self when you're around. I will try to hide my emotions for you. I'll do everything I can so as not to turn you away because right now, you are doing just that.
I don't understand why you won't show the "ouchy" or tell momma what happened. We're supposed to be the closest people because we've never been apart. I'm your mommy. I'm here to protect you.
I'd be an utter failure if you won't confide in me. I cannot be your momma if I don't know what's going on with my own daughter. I'd be like all the other mothers that I despised - seeming not to care about their own kids and seeming not to care about anyone but themselves.
Please learn how to confide in me. I'm here to listen.
The same goes with my little girl. She knows that I overreact, and in times of injury or pain, she doesn't want me around. She once hit her head on the faucet, which left a deep cut on her scalp, and she was adamant that I leave her alone. I have yet to learn how to keep my emotions in check. It's difficult.
ReplyDelete